April 16, 2004

I love my Humpy

It's hell getting old...
I shouldn't know this quite yet. I'm only 30, and Mrs. Frinklin is only 27. And yet she and I are careening toward geezerhood. This was pointed out to us rather obviously this week. She went to a new chiropractor this week; she had promised a potential client she would check out his practice. The doctor was pleasant and polite, and informed Mrs. Frinklin that she was in the very, very early stages of "Dowager's Hump".

Yes friends, say it aloud, "Dowager's Hump."

Not being an expert on the aging process, my lovely wife asked the doctor just what dowager hump was. Turns out it's a curving of the spine, where the vertebrae weaken and collapse on each other. Eventually this will end up causing the back to curve forward and develop a lovely hunchbacked appearence. Yes, Dowager's Hump: The long lost reason as to why your grandmother was so small.

Now, I'm sure the chiropractor thought he was doing my lovely wife a great service by warning her of this. It gives her time to slow or even stop this process; it gives us the opportunity to affect healthier, more active lives. This is a good thing, early detection means defeat for such problems, right?

Not exactly.

This adventure gives my lovely wife the chance to dwell on yet another horrible thing that could eventually happen. For the next 48 hours, Mrs. Frinklin is certain she will turn into Quasimodo, presumably soon. She is going from 27 to 72 in a matter of months. Of course, I don't know this at first. I hear the story, am genuinely concerned, and then move on, confident that this doctor knows what he's doing, and that my wife can with exercise and calcium supplements, not turn into Igor from Frankenstien. I am a guy; this is how we deal with things.

I'm also an idiot. My wife and I are working in the kitchen last night, well actually she's working, I'm standing there getting in the way. She looks sad, very sad. I ask what's wrong. She looks as if she's going to cry. "Will you still love me when I'm all old and humpy?" she asks with tears coming to her eyes.

"And when I say old, I mean 35."

Posted by Frinklin at April 16, 2004 03:12 AM
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