Maybe this should be a monthly thing instead of weekly, since I haven’t done one in so damned long. Anyway, the X-Books were pretty weak this month. Play along at home, k?
Uncanny X-Men # 446
There is a fine line between a nice feeling of nostalgia and a not-so-nice feeling of staleness. After a good start, this issue takes UXM towards the not-so-nice side. Do not get me wrong, this is a well-plotted and beautifully drawn X-Men story. It just isn’t anything we haven’t seen before. In fact, halfway through I realized I have read the story before. About 15 years ago when Malice was introduced, Claremont did an issue where Malice took control of Storm, and the ending, even with the dramatic pulling off of the head-thingy (in this case it was a choker), was exactly the same. If I were a more conscientious person I would look up the issue, but I’m not.
Ultimate X-Men #49
This issue is a nice wrap-up to the unimportant Mr. Sinister storyline. As with the previous issues, what works here is necessarily the action or main plot, but the character interaction. Brian Vaughn has a nice ear for these characters, and it really shines through. I especially like the use of Dazzler, actually doing something other than partying or acting like a snot. Her reaction to Rogue and Angel debating morality is priceless. I hope Vaughn gets a chance with this title, but his run is still scheduled to end with the Bryan Singer Presents nonsense.
District X #3
The best book to come out of Reload continues to impress. This intricately plotted book looks at the more mundane side of being a mutant, and does so believably. I especially like the multiple characters, which proves rather emphatically that this is not a Bishop solo book. Would that the guys picking covers knew that, as each cover so far has been very Bish-centric, and with a lot more blown up things than the book actually has.
X-Men #159
This is where the month starts going off the rails. Chuck Austen seems to be trying to go out as he came in: with inexplicably bad storytelling. It’s difficult to contemplate where to start on this issue. Let’s see: Havok’s powers counteract Xorn’s for no apparent reason other than Austen couldn’t think of a better way to stop the world from ending; During said world-threatening situation Iceman and Juggernaut decide this is the best time for a pissing contest and get in a fight; the eight unnamed Chinese guys decide that the X-Men really are trying to save the world, but instead of helping they just show them where to go; really the list is endless. Moreover, for love of God, can we please take mopey, pretty Jay Guthrie and whiney, ugly Sammy Paare and shunt them off to Junior X-Men where they belong?
You also have to wonder who came up with this roster. If you have a very powerful mutant showing signs of increasing instability, it is always the best thing to put her on the team with the guy who left her at the altar. That’s showing leadership. For decades, Polaris has been portrayed as the normal-girl mutant. The girl who, despite being really hot, having green hair and being able to move pickup trucks with her mind, you could strike up a conversation with at a bookstore. Not anymore, Lorna Dane is now a couple sausage links away from having the Insanity Slam at Dennys. Add to that her ex-boyfriend, just coming out of a coma and several years in an alternate universe, THE Hot characters of 1993 (Rogue and Gambit), the seriously pissy Iceman, ex-villain Juggernaut and there you go: the most dysfunctional X-Team ever. Oh yeah, Wolverine too, he has to be everywhere. You never know if people are going to forget he exists, he only appears in 17 monthly titles.
New X-Men: Academy X #3
God, this issue was so bad it made my teeth hurt. Lousy title and all, the former New Mutants stumble on. Another new artist is on the way, Randy Green lasted two whole issues. The fill-in work this month is courtesy of Staz Johnson, usually a perfectly acceptable artist. He must have been rushed, because the art here is awful, full of odd perspectives and distorted figures. The story is not much better, and there is no excuse for that. After issue #2, where the Hellions seemed reasonable teens, this issue goes the other way, and the Hellions are obviously the Bad Kids, led by a Draco Malfoy of their very own. Well, except for Jay Guthrie who flies off to annoy us in X-Men.
The writers (Christina Weir and Nunzio DiFillipi, who people tell me are better than this claptrap) also throw in an easy to predict, paint my numbers romance angle with Hellion and Winddancer. The return of the kid who melts people, now charmingly codenamed “Wither” , which sounds more like a Calvin Klein perfume than a X-Man name; Wolfsbane fooling around with a student, and Mirage letting us know that, once again, she gave up being an X-Man to look after these kiddies. You have to wonder if Dani is kinda slow, since both Scott and Emma are X-Men, have Jr. teams they handle, and run the entire damn school. We are now three issues into the new version, plus a years worth of the previous title, and this title has yet to prove it should be published. That is not a good sign.
Excalibur #3
I might as well get all the suck-ass titles out of the way at once. This is still an interesting idea, that of the two titans of X-Men lore (Xavier and Magneto) rebuilding the mutant homeland; unfortunately, the execution grows more flailing every issue. This issue starts with Xavier, Magneto and Callisto enjoying a little domestic bliss. Magneto is a fine cook, ya know. Then, Xavier is attacked by an Omega-Sentinel, but it’s only in his mind, as his subconscious appearing as Moira MacTaggert explains to him. After getting rid of the Omega Sentinel, it turns out X was receiving a mental connection from another telepath, the Professor gives this humdinger of a Claremont line-I couldn't fight back, I couldn't escape. The agony wouldn't end. I was Prometheus on the rock, being forever torn to pieces by Zues's eagles and reborn, to die again and again and again.
Do people like that actually talk like that in Chris’ world?
After that, we’re off to bland character hell, a vacation spot in Chris Claremont’s universe. We meet Hack, Purge, and… oh hell, I don’t know who they are. It is a bunch of mutant children; they end up on a great big plane with the Magistrates (where the hell have they been?). They fight, the plane cracks open and everybody falls out. Magneto and the Professor go to investigate, and we get a moderately amusing scene of Wicked and Freakshow (the previously established bland-character hell environs) dodging plane parts, then we end with them attacked by said Magistrates.
That is as coherent as it gets…
Astonishing X-Men #3
This is much, much better. AXM continues to gather momentum with another sterling issue. Like Ultimate, this book and its quality is predicated on the writer’s grasp of his characters. Whedon gets the X-Men, far more than Austen ever did, and more than Claremont does now. Witness Kitty’s impassioned but obviously rehearsed speech in the beginning, and the young mutant’s priceless rejoinder, “Ms. Pryde, are you #@* retarded?” Equally good is the heat of Logan’s anger and Beast’s anguish at his current condition. It isn’t forced, it feels real. Other highlights are Scott’s visit with Nick Fury; it is tense edgy, almost an emotional standoff. Again, it feels right, SHIELD is not the X-Men’s pals, and they shouldn’t be portrayed as such.
Not everything works, of course, Ord of Breakworld is so far an uninspiring, bland villain, and Dr. Rao is showing signs of being the clichéd scientist who sacrifices her ideals for what she feels is the greater good. The twist at the end piqued my interest to say the very least. As for the art, what can be said? Cassidy is at the top of his game. It’s the best X-Men art in years, probably since Jim Lee’s heyday.
Posted by Frinklin at August 2, 2004 06:10 PM