It was Easter weekend, and as per my usual custom, this meant a trip up to central Pennsylvania to see my family. It's always a joy to head up and see what's happening there, as life there is a bit different than it is here in the Fedroplex. Some time ago, I remember hearing the word "Pennsyltucky" used to describe the stretch between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, and it fits; the middle of the Keystone State is pretty rural, both in terms of development and values. Granted, things are starting to change; the town near my grandmother (York) has densified pretty rapidly over the last few years, and is rapidly turning into a bedroom suburb of Baltimore. But the area still clings to its small-town way of life, and it's a welcome change every now and again.
For instance, on Saturday, we went over to the Lions Pride Restaurant, which is a genuine old-school family restaurant, the kind that has been rendered largely extinct in the Fedroplex by places like Applebee's and Ruby Tuesday. I love the Lions Pride for its good prices, generous portions, and sweet-as-pie waitresses who call you "sweetie" and refill your drink without your having to ask. I love the fact that they have pickled eggs on the menu (even if I'm not quite brave enough to order them). I love the fact that they can make a simple, honest, no-frills BLT and fries better than any other place I've been to. But most of all, I love the place mats.
The place mats are an amalgam of ads for local businesses. This may not seem like a revelation, but it's a homely small-town touch that no one would dream of in the hip fast-lane self-important Fedroplex. Underneath the ads is the cheery admonition, "These advertisers are your friends and neighbors. Please use their services." And even though I don't live there, I felt wrapped in the warm embrace of friendly neighborliness. And my BLT hadn't even come yet.
Of course, given that these are local businesses who are (in all likelihood) writing their own ads, the potential for unintentional comedy certainly exists. I'm reminded of the barber who opened a shop near my grandmother's house. I guess he didn't want to be tied down to regular hours, so rather than put hours on the sign, he got a light-up sign, which he turned on whenever he felt like cutting hair. This was pretty clever, I thought. Unfortunately, he chose to advertise this policy by writing on the sign "OPEN WHEN LIT." It struck me that, of all the times I'd want someone standing near my head with a pair of scissors, "when lit" was probably the least likely. This sign generated chortles aplenty for city-slicker me every time I visited my grandmother for the few months, until he finally gave up and put hours on the sign.
This place mat certainly had its moments of unintentional comedy. My personal favorite was the funeral home that offered "Forethought Life Insurance." I imagine this is standard burial/funeral insurance and they were just trying to put a happy face on it, but... life insurance from a funeral home? It certainly put a different spin on the rest of the ad, which contained uplifting messages such as, "No physical required; no one is denied" and "Join many of your friends and relatives who have already taken advantage of this great offer." I started humming "Don't Fear the Reaper" to myself.
I also had to laugh at the ad for the consignment shop, which suggested its services in the event of "Moving, Death, Divorce, or Whatever." It's the "whatever" that gets me. "Please accept my condolences and... whatever." Into every life a little whatever must fall, I guess.
My BLT had arrived at that point, and I was about to shake my head at the humor in the ads and tuck into my first French fry when I saw another ad. This one was for the Covenant Moravian Church. I wondered briefly why a church would take out advertising on a place mat, and then I saw their slogan.
"In Essentials Unity, In Non-Essentials Liberty, In All Things Love"
It blew me away. Think about it for a second: Isn't that a great organizing philosophy for a church? For that matter, on a very general level, isn't it a great organizing philosophy for a society? Stand together on the things that matter, let everyone go their own way on things that don't, and always, always treat one another with love. It would work at least as well as anything else we've come up with, wouldn't it? I don't know if that slogan is unique to that church, or to their religion, but it's brilliant. If it did not entail a two-hour drive on a weekly basis, I think I'd have to give that church a try. It certainly put me in the right frame of mind to celebrate the Resurrection; I think Jesus would surely have approved of the church's slogan.
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