August 24, 2004

Make Umpires into Judges...

I’ve been watching this mess with Olympic Gymnastics, and I think this collection of sorta-kinda sports has the right idea. Let’s bring the judges to all sports. Instead of tangible results, let’s base everything on opinions. If Barry Bonds hits a homerun with the bases loaded, the umps should judge it on height, distance and speed. Maybe it was a weak shot down the line, it may have a starting value of 4 runs, but due to several deductions, this Grand Slam is only worth 3.785 runs.

Peyton Manning throws the fade to Reggie Wayne in the end zone; Wayne juggles it before making the catch… that’s a .2 of a deduction, plus an additional .5 deduction for not “sticking the landing”. I’m sorry, that touchdown is only worth 5.3 points. But don’t worry; Mike Vanderjagt will be attempting the extra-point from 45 yards out, for a start value of 1.2 points.

This idea is magic, I tell you.

Posted by Frinklin at August 24, 2004 10:20 PM

A 'sport' is a physical contest between one or more individuals or teams... the one that gets there the fastest with the mostest is the champion... all the rest of that crap is performance art - period.

Posted by: Mudfish Billie at August 29, 2004 10:52 AM
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