December 16, 2004


I really, really hate secret gift exchanges, yet I am sucked in every Christmas. Why is that? It’s easier to spend $10.00 then spend an entire Holiday season without people wondering if I’m some sort of Grinch.

This year, in our newly reconstituted (and soon to be dissolved) unit, we did things a bit differently. Since we are so new, and don’t know each other well, we sent out a little list of things we’d want or would be interested in. It was just my luck to draw Pammy, the office airhead. You know the type. She has an annoying HEE-HEE-HEE giggle that emanates from her cubicle; everything’s relative value based on “cuteness”, a general sense of wide-eyed stupidity, you know what I mean. This girl is the office equivalent of a prop-comic.

Seeing as I know as little as possible about Pammy I was very pleased that everyone sent a helper for this particular gift exchange. I’ve never seen her reading or discussing anything beyond general cuteness, and her only known hobby is breeding. I mean, c’mon, she’s 21 and 7 months into pregnancy #3. She listed two things on her interest list: Chocolate (thank god) and Tinkerbelle.

Only she didn’t just list “Tinkerbelle” or “Tinkerbelle memorabilia”. No, she listed every fuckin’ thing that Tinkerbelle appears on: Tinkerbelle mugs, Tinkerbelle pens, Tinkerbelle glasses, Tinkerbelle shirts, Tinkerbelle baby clothes, Tinkerbelle dolls, Tinkerbelle jammies (of COURSE she spelled it “jammies”), Tinkerbelle slippers, Tinkerbelle key chains, Tinkerbelle frames, Tinkerbelle socks, Tinkerbelle, Tinkerbelle, Tinkerbelle.

It covered half a page. I wonder now if she meant chocolate covered Tinkerbelles. If so, she’s outta luck.

Screw it, I’m re-gifting. The Missus received a perfectly awful, noxious chocolate-scented candle at a business luncheon the other day. It is the perfect gift for this situation.

Posted by Frinklin at December 16, 2004 05:42 PM

How about a Tinkerbelle THONG ! that would shut her up .....

Posted by: mac at December 27, 2004 10:04 AM
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