May 11, 2005

I’m a bit behind the trend

I’ve been wearing my yellow wristband for about a week now. I know, only 8 months or so behind everyone else. But it didn’t mean anything for me then.

It does now. My Dad has cancer.

It’s one of the reason’s Ensie’s quest for a job up in Seattle has taken on such an urgency. We’d been talking about moving long before this, partly because of Dad’s recent heart troubles, plus the easier housing market and the plain fact I wanted to go home and she liked Northwest life too, but it didn’t matter as much then.

My father has melanoma. They’ve removed most of the lesion, but they have more to remove, plus they’re taking out a lymph node. If it has spread more, there will be chemotherapy in his future. Between this, his heart trouble and his diabetes, I’m terrified I might lose him.

My father and I have gone through times where we weren’t close. We went a couple years back when I was in high school were we didn’t have any contact at all. It was as much my fault as it was his, and I regret it now. But it doesn’t do any good. Since Ensie and I got married, and my parents decided to get back together I have more of a family than I think I’ve ever had. My wife’s family made me realize how cynical I had become about the idea of family. Even now, several years after meeting them I’m stunned how well they get along, and I’m stunned more by how much it doesn’t matter if they don’t.

Now I’m happily married, and buying a house, and I’m more centered than I thought I ever could be. My parents are back together despite how scared my mother is, and I’m amazed that she manages to stay so strong, which is not her normal setting. Mom’s a bit of a drama queen, and she knows it. Still, with a little help from me, she gets through.

I don’t know what will happen the next few months, and part of me is terrified about what might happen. But I’m excited too. My wife and I buying a house. I still can’t get over being married sometimes, let alone buying a house and -dare I say it- kids.

So I wear the yellow wristband now. And I look at it a few times a day, just to remind myself that Dad’s position isn’t one that is his alone, that a lot of people survive cancer. And it makes me feel better.

Posted by Frinklin at May 11, 2005 07:05 PM

I wear one for my Mom, a 3-year so far survivor of breast cancer with an excellent outlook for the future. She beat it, your Dad can beat it too.

You're in my thoughts, Frinklin.


Posted by: Ilk at May 12, 2005 02:54 PM
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