April 27, 2006

The Chronicles of Bill, Part 3

An occasional series in which we examine the surreal adventures of Mediocre Fred and his co-worker, "Bill," who is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. All conversations are real, as hard as it may be to believe, though names have been changed to protect the galactically stupid.

It's high pollen season here in the Fedroplex, and I happen to be afflicted with terrible allergies. So I rolled into work today, nose running, eyes watering, sneezing to beat the band. One of my more perceptive co-workers, noticing my plight, gently inquired, "What's the matter with you?"

"It's [sneeze] allergy [sniff] season," I replied.

"Oh, you have bad allergies? That's too bad," the co-worker said.

Along comes Bill, clutching a pad of paper, trying very hard to look important. He overhears our conversation.

"Wait, you have allergies?" Bill asks me. I nod.

At this point, Bill takes a step back, holds his pad of paper in front of his face, and says, "Well, then don't breathe on me!"

Apparently, Bill believes that pollen allergies are contagious.

I should point out that, legally, not only is Bill allowed to vote, he is allowed to father and raise children. If the Bush administration wants to spend its lame-duck years doing something more meaningful than rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, it should start here.

Posted by Mediocre Fred at April 27, 2006 08:51 AM | TrackBack
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