The Frinklin and Fred Show

Playoff Pick-'Em Update

Just to make sure I am properly humiliated:

The first round of the MLB playoffs is over, and what a shocker it was! Three of four presumed underdogs moved on to the next round. "Experts" everywhere are gnashing their teeth, wondering how they could have been so wrong. Well, except for one expert. The one who picked all three surprise winners correctly. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

My mother.

That's right, Mom correctly picked the Tigers, A's, and Cardinals to advance. She missed only on the Dodgers-Mets series. For those of you who don't read this blog regularly, you may be wondering what deep baseball knowledge, what complex statistical formulas, she employed to pick the winners. Are you ready for this? She picked the teams whose uniforms she liked better.

That's right, a woman who knows nothing about baseball, who never reads the sports pages, went three-for-four. Meanwhile I, baseball obsessive, went one-for-four. And the one I got right (A's) was only because Mom talked me into it. If I hadn't talked to her, I'd have whiffed on all four picks.

I called her this morning to see how it felt to be right.

MF: Congratulations, Mom, you picked three of the four first-round winners right.
MOM: Is that your baseball thing?
MF: Yes, Mom. You picked the Tigers, A's, and Cards to advance, and they all did.
MOM: I did? How about that! How did you do?
MF: (mumbling) One for four.
MOM: What's that?
MF: One. I got one right.
MOM: I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe now you'll learn what I tried to teach you when you were a kid.
MF: Which was?
MOM: Your mother is always right.
MF: Yeah, yeah.
MOM: I'm just glad the Yankees lost. Now, though, I have to listen to your father whine and moan about them losing. "The Yankees stink! Fire Torre! Fire Cashman! Deport A-Rod back to his home country!"
MF: But A-Rod was born in Miami. (Editor's note: Actually, he was born in New York, and moved to Miami when he was 7. I just learned that.)
MOM: Your father said something about throwing him in prison at Guantanamo Bay.
MF: Sounds like he's taking it pretty hard.
MOM: Yeah. And after that Redskins game yesterday-
MF: Let's not go there. So, care to share the secret of your success?
MOM: Well, I guess I learned more about baseball than I thought, with all those Yankee games your father makes me watch.
MF: Oh, come on. Why don't you just admit it was all a fluke, and you got lucky?
MOM: Now, now, no need to be rude. I'm sure you'll catch up next time.
MF: (pause) I don't think so.
MOM: Why not?
MF: Because the teams I picked to make the World Series already lost.
MOM: Oh. What about the teams I picked?
MF: Still alive. The A's and the (snarl) Cardinals.
MOM: Well, isn't that nice!
MF: (grumbling)
MOM: You don't sound so good, dear. Do you want me to make you some chicken soup?

I hate it when she gloats.