The Frinklin and Fred Show

Okay, I've Made Up My Mind

A couple weeks ago, I mentioned the debut column by Jemele Hill of ESPN. I gave the column the panning it deserved, adding this caveat: "Maybe I'm being unfair to Jemele. Maybe the self-interview was just a gimmick that backfired, and she's really a good writer who had a bad debut."

So I saw her latest column... and yeah, I was pretty much right on target. This time, as a public service, Ms. Hill attempts to define the rules of engagement between athletes and groupies. Yes, you read that correctly. I'm not sure whether she is pro-groupie or anti-groupie, but this column is so poorly written that it doesn't really matter. She veers from first-person to second-person to third-person seemingly at random, and in her list of "rules", she can't seem to decide if "you" is the athlete, the groupie, or neither.

And better yet, there are a select handful of lines that make no sense whatsoever, such as, "It's a temporary takeover, not a merger. Think of Groupie Nation as an oppressed country that you want to occupy, but not govern." The whole column seems as though it was written by one of those homeless people who hangs out in Farragut Square and screams at the pigeons.

Then again, I suppose I should have expected this from a woman who complained about being misunderstood in her first column. I guess she was just trying to warn us.

UPDATE: Somehow, I managed to miss last week's "effort" by Ms. Hill. In this column, she uses the rumor that Michigan State basketball coach Tom Izzo might take over as coach of the football team as a springboard to a stunningly formulaic column, suggesting other potential basketball-football crossovers.

As if this wasn't bad enough, she attempts to provide a "rationale" justifying the crossover. To wit:

Not to oversimplify what football coaches do, but their success or failure hinges on concepts that aren't foreign to any coach. They must be able to evaluate talent – both for their coaching staff and their team. So conceivably, couldn't a basketball coach recognize 4.2 speed just as easily as a football coach? And likewise, wouldn't a football coach be able to decipher that Greg Oden will be one of the most skilled big men to play college basketball in years?

Rocket science, this stuff ain't. The game is so high-tech, with coaches having so many assistants, analysts and even a chart that tells them when to attempt a two-point conversion, how much thinking can you say a head football coach does anymore?

In other words, crossing over from basketball to football, or vice versa, would work because coaching isn't very hard. And about Greg Oden: Since Oden's name has been in every major sports-media outlet for at least the last two years, anybody who isn't living in a shack in Wyoming with no electricity could "know" that Oden is going to be great.

Another Jemelian gem:

Are Pete Carroll's blitz packages and offensive schemes any more complicated at USC than they were when he coached the New England Patriots? No. The difference is his rah-rah, laid-back demeanor wasn't working with NFL players, but it registers big with the iPod generation he coaches now.

Can someone explain to me how it's possible to be "rah-rah" and "laid back" at the same time?

Jemele's crossover candidates are largely an uninspired list, a series of obvious and lame gags that, say, Jim Caple could just as easily have produced. But a few choices stand out as uniquely Jemele:

Mike Krzyzewski: You know the résumé. He graduated from West Point and was an Army officer for five years. Coach K wouldn't do any worse than the other coaches Duke football has had over the years.

Yes, because the largely pathetic records of Duke football teams over the last 40 years have nothing to do whatsoever with the fact that Duke is not a football school and has had few quality players. Nope, it's all coaching. You bet.

Pat Summitt: Not only does she possess the glare of death, but few coaches maximize a player's talent the way she does. Bet if she stared down Eli Manning, he would get his act together.

Because Eli Manning's current coach, Tom Coughlin, is a noted soft touch and has surely never stared down Manning. Never. Uh huh.

Mark Cuban: He may not be a coach (sideline antics notwithstanding), but he would bring Daniel Snyder money paired with common sense.

Wait... common sense? Are we thinking of the same Mark Cuban? The one who owns the Dallas Mavericks? The one who once charged onto the court to scream at a referee? The one who shouted at David Stern after a playoff game, "F*** you! F*** you! Your league is rigged!"? The one who has repeatedly posts on his blog to complain that the officials have a vendetta against his team? That Mark Cuban? Common sense>?!

Also, I'm not sure why Jemele bothered to include a crossover owner, since I don't know anyone who believes that owning a football team and a basketball team require different skill sets. But, you know, Jemele is beyond logic anyway, so what does it matter?

Hope you're getting your $400,000 worth, ESPN!

Thanksgiving

"The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years, with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the city of Washington, this third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the independence of the United States the eighty-eighth."

Proclamation of President Abraham Lincoln October 3, 1863

Why Modernity Stinks, Volume MDCCLXVIII

On my way to lunch today, I tuned to my favorite radio station, the Music for Old People channel. The first song I heard was this old Bing Crosby tune:

When Madam Pompadour was on a ballroom floor
Said all the gentlemen "Obviously,"
"The madam has the cutest personality"

Baby, you've got the cutest
Personality!

Ostensibly, this song is about the virtues of a sweet and caring disposition for women seeking to succeed at the game of life. Upon closer examination, though, it's pretty clear that "personality," in this context, means "bazongas." (Go ahead, substitute "bazongas" for "personality" in the lyrics above and see what I mean.) The whole song is a double-entendre of sorts, which it had to be, since there was still such a thing as "polite society" in America in the '40s, and you couldn't sing a song of praise to bazongas in public then. (Also, "personality" is easier to rhyme than "bazongas.")

In today's society, of course, subtlety is the refuge of the weak. If this song were written today, it would be called something like "Boobs Are Great," and the references to Madam Pompadour, Du Barry, Figaro and Figarette, Jupiter and Juno, and Salome would all be deleted, since no one knows who they are. (Yes, our pop culture was literate once, too. Look it up!) In a world of "I Like Big Butts" and "My Humps," the sly winks in "Personality" would fly over the heads of its audience. I'm not sure what's more disheartening about modern culture: the fact that our children are growing up in a shockingly obscene and indecent environment, or the fact that it caters to people who are too stupid to understand anything other than explicit vulgarity.

Seriously, except for civil rights and the '67 Corvette, the last 50 years have been one long march straight down the commode.

(NOTE: I have turned off comments for this post, because a particularly obnoxious comment spammer was bombarding this post with literally hundreds of comments a day. If you want to comment on this post, feel free to e-mail me.

Apple Cup Aftermath

Well, I guess I couldn't have been more wrong about this game, now could I? This leaves the Cougs hoping to back into a bowl. Not a place they should have been.

Oh, and this freaky little tidbit is true.

Apple Cup 2006: Possibly Not As Awful as Last Year

The 98th edition of the Apple Cup was laughably bad. This year, with the Huskies winless since September and the Cougars stumbling through November, can it be any better? Could it get any worse?

No, last year was a truly awful football game that neither side really seemed to want to win. This year should be better, as there are pressures on both teams that were lacking last year.

The Rundown
Quarterback

The Huskies lost Isaiah Stanback against Oregon State and never recovered. Neither Johnny DuRocher nor Carl Bonnell has given the Huskies any stability, and both are hobbled with injuries. DuRocher is out with a concussion and Bonnell will start despite a broken nose, separated non-throwing shoulder and various leg injuries. Next in line is senior walk-on Felix Sweetman, who hasn’t thrown a pass in his career. The Cougars have no such problems. While Alex Brink hasn’t been as steady as he was last year, but a good game here and in whatever bowl could set Brink up for a huge senior season.
Edge: Washington State

Running Backs
The Cougars have three quality tailbacks, DeMaundray Woolridge, Darrell Hutsona and Dwight Tardy. The stumpy (5-8, 235)Woolridge is the best of them, but has been hobbled with injuries. Hutsona is a lighting-quick junior who struggles with the idea of going forward instead of sideways. The Huskies run game has ground to a halt. Kenny James hasn’t been healthy all year, and big play back Louis Rankin has disappeared during this losing streak.
Edge: Washington State

Wide Receivers/Tight Ends
Classy senior Sonny Shackleford is the Huskies’ best target. Shackleford is a fine possession wideout who deserves better than the teams he’s been stuck on. After Shackleford the Huskies best talent at receiver spends more time on the bench than the field. Speedy Marlon Wood and hulking Marcel Reese have slipped in Ty Willingham’s rotation for reasons not easily figured out. The Cougars are close to spent at wideout. Preseason All-America Jason Hill is out, flashy junior Michael Bumpus is questionable and Chris Jordan’s star-crossed career is over after his 827th knee injury.
Edge: Washington

Offensive Line
Neither line is special, but the Huskies have overachieved while the Cougs have underachieved. Coming into the year the o-line was a glaring weakness for Washington. The line has been okay, but certainly not the disaster it could have been. Washington State’s line, which hasn’t been healthy all year, hasn’t always given Brink the time he needs.
Edge: Washington State

Defensive Line
Washington State might not have a defensive line at this point. The Cougs run a 3-4 at times due to pure necessity. Tackles Aaron Johnson, Ropati Pitoitua and Feveae'I Ahmu have all missed significant time to injury. Johnson is out and the other two are questionable. If healthy -he’s been hobbled with a knee injury- DE Mkristo Bruce is the best player on the field. The Huskies have solidified recently with the emergence of DT Jordan Reffett and end Greyson Gunheim seeming to fulfill his enormous potential.
Edge: Washington

Linebackers
The Cougars have a sold group led by senior Scott Davis and athletic sophomore Gary Trent. With the difficulties along the line, Cougar linebackers are very, very busy. The Huskies best defender all year has been Scott White, and he has some young talent like Donald Butler and Daniel Howell.
Edge: Washington

Defensive Backs
Despite a terrible game against Arizona State, the Cougars have a solid group led by the only shutdown corner on either team, Tyron Brackenridge and the solid Eric Frampton at safety. The Huskies are vastly improved over last year, but just about anything would be better than last year. CJ Wallace and Chris Hemphill are a headhunting pair at safety and Dashon Goldson made the move to corner better than expected.
Edge: Washington State

Special Teams
Other than Michael Bumpus when healthy, the WSU has been awful on special teams all year. Kicker Loren Langley was terrible even when healthy and now Romeen Abdollmohmmadi takes over. The Huskies return units and coverage teams are mediocre at best, but kicker Michael Braunstein has been effective and punter Sean Douglass has a huge leg.
Edge: Washington

Intangibles
The Huskies are coming off what longtime broadcaster Bob Rondeau called “the worst game he’d ever seen.” a humiliating loss at home to previously winless Stanford. Add to that the dissension caused by Willingham’s abrupt announcement that several fourth-year juniors -including Braunstein, Hemphill and Wood- wouldn’t be invited back for a fifth year and you have an utterly toxic environment. Washington State is only a touch better. Three weeks ago, coming off a lopsided win against Oregon the Cougs were talking Holiday and Sun Bowls. Now, after stumbling at home against Arizona and getting blasted last week against ASU they face a must-win game. A 6-6 WSU, with three straight losses does not get an bowl invite.
Edge: Washington State

The Pick: Washington State 27, Washington 10
Against a better team the Cougars would be in serious trouble. Against the wreckage of this Husky team, they win and squeeze into a bowl, probably the Emerald or Hawaii.

This Won't Be Good

So, apparently, ESPN's Page 2 has a new columnist named Jemele Hill, and in her debut column, she interviewed herself. Never mind the fact that she obviously stole the self-interview bit from yours truly. She hasn't written anything of substance yet, and I already dislike her.

Don't worry. sports fans; she's an original, a maverick, independent voice who isn't afraid to speak her mind. I know this because she says so (albeit in different ways) about 10,000 times in the course of this self-interview. Please, spare me the self-congratulation. How is it that, even though every new-school sportswriter claims to be an independent thinker, 90% of them sound more or less the same? Yes, we get it. America is hypocritical in its attitudes about race. Old white men don't like most modern athletes. Throw in a handful of "I-Love-The-'80s"-style pop-culture references, and you've pretty much nailed the new-school-sportswriting algorithm. It's just as hackneyed and formulaic as, say, Skip Bayless.

A couple things from this article that really ticked me off:

Yes, I discuss race openly, honestly and, hopefully, intelligently.

If everyone who claimed to discuss race "openly and honestly" actually did, America's race problem would be confined to a handful of unreconstructed assholes. In practice, though, this "I alone dare to speak the truth" shtick is primarily a stock answer to critics who find you obnoxious, rude, or just plain wrong. "If you disagree with me, that's because you're a hypocrite/ you're racist/ you're out of touch." Try not to dislocate your shoulder from all that patting yourself on the back, okay?

[A]s a columnist, I hope to make you think, piss you off, make you laugh, make you reach for Advil, and make you cry. Mostly, though, I hope to make you read.

Again, stock self-aggrandizing garbage. The last sentence sums up the truth nicely, though.

Well, I need to break the ice. These people are going to be stuck with me for the next couple of years.

The next couple of years? I wouldn't be so sure.

I also would ask: If former Miami Hurricanes announcer Lamar Thomas were white, would he have ever been given a broadcast job in the first place? His criminal sheet is so long he could have been a foot soldier for Tony Soprano.

This is a nonsensical statement. What's the implication here? That white announcers can't have criminal records and be hired? I find that hard to believe. The truth is that broadcast companies couldn't care less about an announcer's past, criminal or otherwise, as long as he or she is a good broadcaster. The only time they care is if said past becomes a public embarrassment for the broadcast company (for example, if a broadcaster who is a thug is caught on air enthusiastically approving on-screen thuggery). Denny McLain got a sports talk show directly out of prison, and he's white. (Since Jemele is from Detroit, I figured she'd have heard of McLain.) No need to overthink this to prove your "open-mindedness" on race, okay?

(spoken by the "interviewer") If this is some sort of preview of what you're going to be like on Page 2, I think half of the people who read this will find you annoying. Maybe more than half.

Ain't that the truth. Jemele responded with a bizarre analogy about how boyfriends and girlfriends want to poison each other from time to time, which made no sense, in keeping with the rest of the column.

This is Ralph Wiley's truest legacy. Wiley was frequently outrageous, often made debatable assertions, and made me want to pull my hair out reading him half the time... but he was a genius, and an enormously gifted writer, so it worked. A lot of the new-school sportwriters grew up reading geniuses like Wiley, and they want to be like him... but 99% of them can't do it. They're not talented enough. And if you try to imitate Wiley without being as smart or as great a writer as Wiley, you're just an smug asshole with a sports column.

Maybe I'm being unfair to Jemele. Maybe the self-interview was just a gimmick that backfired, and she's really a good writer who had a bad debut. She wouldn't be the first. But if not... we'll see if we're really stuck with her for two years.

What The...?

Saw this on Yahoo:

The Capitol police weren't quite ready for [Sen.-elect Jon] Tester, a farmer with a throwback flat top haircut and fingers missing on his left hand from an old accident with a meat grinder. They asked him to empty his pockets for inspection.

"Just like at the airport, you put it all through?" Tester asked.

The officer nodded, then recognized the newcomer and waved him through.

Okay, so Tester's new, he hasn't even started yet, and the Capitol Police haven't met him before. But, seriously, look at the picture of Tester in the post below this one.

I assume that the Capitol Police are shown pictures of the incoming legislators. And Tester has got to be the only man within a 200-mile radius of Washington with a flat-top like that. Ray Charles could pick Tester out of a lineup, and he's dead. (This isn't Cynthia McKinney, either; I imagine Tester has had that haircut for about as long as he's had hair.) How is it possible for the Capitol Police not to recognize him? "Oh, wait, you're that guy with the flat-top haircut and missing three fingers on your hand! My bad."

I'm sure Congress feels safer tonight.

Post-Election Analysis

My favorite new member of the Senate, hands-down:

Senator-elect Jon Tester (D-Montana)!

The flat-top itself would be enough to make him a good guy in my book, but a few weeks back I happened to see a debate between Tester and the man he defeated, Sen. Conrad Burns, on C-SPAN. (Yes, I actually watched a debate between two candidates I couldn't vote for, in a state I'll never live in. My social life is fine, thanks.) Tester made a very positive impression on me: he seemed comfortable, cheerful, friendly, and well-versed on the issues. His friendly persona is apparently more than just an act; in fact, as the race tightened in the final days, some Democrats groused that Tester was too nice a guy, and that he might lose because he was too unwilling to say nasty things about Burns. In a year filled with negativity, cynicism, and overblown rhetoric, Tester's ability to be a good guy in a close race was very refreshing.

On the other hand, while I'm happy about Tester, I am deeply saddened to report that one of my other favorite Democrats didn't quite make it:

This is Darcy Burner, who narrowly lost in Washington's 8th District to Rep. Dave Reichert. Reichert seems like a decent enough guy, but come on, 8th District voters: Look at that picture again. What were you thinking? You could have had the most attractive Representative in America (though Rep.-elect Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona is pretty easy on the eyes, too), and you blew it.

Hang your head, voters of the 8th District. Or better yet, convince her to move to Virginia. I'd certainly much rather look at her in Congress than Jim "Knuckles" Moran. For many reasons, really.

UPDATE: Here's one guy I'm not sorry to see go:

It's our old friend, Rep. Ernest Istook (R-Oklahoma)! Veteran readers may recall that Istook was master"mind" behind the threat to cut Metro's federal funding unless Metro stopped running in-car ads in favor of marijuana legalization. In 2004, Rep. Istook inserted a provision in the omnibus budget bill allowing members of Congress to read everyone's tax returns. Despite a record containing no shortage of items like these, Istook had a safe seat in Congress, and looked likely to hold it until death, if not longer.

But no, he had grander ambitions. This year, Istook ran for governor. Though incumbent governor Brad Henry is a Democrat, Oklahoma is a very Republican state (65.6% for President Bush in 2004), so Istook figured to have a pretty good shot.

Yeah, not so much. As it turned out, Henry beat Istook. Not by a little, either. Istook lost 66.5% to 33.5%. That's right, he lost by a 2-to-1 margin in an overwhelmingly Republican state. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

By the way, the "On the Issues" Web site describes Rep. Istook as a "Libertarian-leaning Conservative", which is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard. Either they don't know much about Istook, or they don't understand what "Libertarian" means.

Apart from the departure of my own beloved Senator Macacawitz, Istook's ignominious defeat is the best thing that happened on Election Night.

UPDATE #2: In response to my fawning over Darcy Burner, loyal reader PG makes the case for Linnea Noreen, who ran as an independent in Washington's 7th District (against Democratic Rep. Jim McDermott). Let's consider the evidence:

Yowza. That's a tough call. Rather than trying to pick between the two, let me just say: voters of Washington state, shame on you! Had you elected Darcy and Linnea, you would have had, collectively, the most attractive Congressional delegation in the history of America. (Sen. Maria Cantwell is quite attractive, and Rep. Cathy McMorris and Sen. Patty Murray aren't bad, either.)

I actually didn't see this one coming

Remember this post on Sunday, where I gave myself a pat on the back about going on an audition? Well, I was waiting for the inevitable "Thanks-but-no-thanks" call.

Instead, they cast me as the bad guy.

Cool...

A Little Horn-Tooting, Buckeye-Style

Since I have so few opportunities to be right about something, I wanted to point this out to the world: Back in 2004, Timothy Noah of Slate wrote a relatively silly article threatening that if John Kerry didn't win Ohio, Jerry Springer would be the Democratic nominee for governor in 2006.

I responded to Noah's lunatic notion by writing an incredibly boring post in which I analyzed the Ohio Democratic bench to figure out who the Democrats might choose instead of Springer. The article was widely acclaimed as a sure cure for insomnia, as well as a frightening example of political dorkishness, particularly given that I don't even live in Ohio. But I want to draw your attention to my conclusion.

After sorting through all the Democratic possibilities, I concluded that the two most viable possibilities were Reps. Ted Strickland and Sherrod Brown. Noting that Brown seemed to flirt with running for higher office largely to keep state Republicans from messing with his district, I concluded that the most probable choice was Strickland. I also pointed out that a Senate seat was coming up the same year, and the Democrats would have to find someone to run for that.

So, fast forward to the present.

Who is the Governor-elect of Ohio? Ted Strickland.

Who is the Senator-elect from Ohio? Sherrod Brown.

See, my post may have been tedious and boring, but at least I was right!

Perhaps this will help my ego recover from the fact that my own mother kicked my butt at picking the MLB playoffs. By the way, she thinks I did a good job cleaning the basement, but tells me I forgot to clean behind the water heater. Sigh.

A bluer America

The American body politic is quite different tonight. As I shuffle off to bed, the Democrats have won the House and -assuming Webb and Tester hold- the Senate as well. Like 1994 this is much less move to the left as it is a repudiation of a deeply unpopular president. The question is what the Dems do with this. While many of the newly minted Democratic congresspersons are moderates, the old liberal warhorses will be running the show. Presumptive Speaker Nancy Pelosi has a very difficult job ahead of her. If she keeps the libs in check and stays in the center the Democrats are set up well for 2008.

The idea -as presented on MSNBC tonight- that she may bypass Jane Harmon and appoint the loathsome Alcee Hastings, impeached former district court judge, as the Chairman of House Intelligence is as poor a start as I can imagine.

My Political Dilemma

[This post removed by request.]

Comfort Zone

I stepped out of mine today. Just a bit -not a leap- but it’s the stepping out, not how far that counts, right?

I went on an audition this afternoon. It was for a stage play at a newly formed theater company around town.

A little background: I was a theater kid back in high school, and had I ever actually graduated from college I almost certainly would have ended up with a BFA despite my better intentions. After I dropped out I quit. I was never going to be a professional, I reasoned, so why even bother.

It was not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. I managed to cut myself off from something I loved, something that I was actually good at, and something that kept me connected to my friends.

And when I say cut off, I mean it. I haven’t been on stage in a decade. I haven’t been on an audition -before today- since. Hell, I’ve only attended a half-dozen stage plays in the past 10 years or so.

It was in hindsight one of the stupidest things I could have even thought about doing.

So, a small step to rectify it today. I’m not expecting anything. I read okay I think. Like every audition (or job interview or first date, they’re all the same thing) I immediately thought of a dozen things I should have done differently right after I was done. Sometime in the next day or two I’ll get a call from the director or more likely his assistant to let me know that they appreciated my reading and would like me to continue to audition in the future, but they have decided to go in a different direction.

That part doesn’t matter. What matters is the step.

Anniversary Season? Last Season? Who knows?

If the point of this SuperSonics year is to regain enough fan support to build the team a new arena, this is quite simply not the way to do it. The Supes blew a nine-point lead with less than five to play and lost to their hated rivals to the south. After one game, this team seems just about the same as last year. They can score in bunches, and just about any team that they play can too.

For those of you who picked Brandon Roy to win ROTY, good call.

As for the future of this team? I'm pretty pessimistic, but Frank Hughes of the TNT and ESPN has an interesting take on it. I really hope this team stays, but I'm not holding my breath.