Today at work, I was trying to go through a door at the same time as one of my co-workers, who is an Orioles fan. Gentleman that I am, I started to step aside to let him through.
"No, no, after you," my co-worker said. "Nationals first."
Ahh, that sweep was extremely gratifying.
Of all the reactions to the rather absurd notion that the Pentagon explored the idea of the Gay Bomb - a hormone-laced bomb that would turn soldiers on the battlefield both homo and horny - I think Gawker’s look at what could happen if the terrorists get their hands on one best.
Yesterday Idolator posted an updated, nu-metal version of the classic Transformers theme, and in a totally shocking development, it's completely fucking terrible.
Which of these things is worse?
A-I'm well aware this movie almost certainly suck, and yet I'm going to see it as soon as it opens?
B-Despite the utter horribleness of this song, I've already downloaded and added it to my iPod?
I really wanted to do this, but I can't. The easiest prediction I have ever made: I won't give a damn either way. We have the Cavaliers, a truly terrible team with the most incandescent talent in the game, and the Spurs, a team filled with whiners, bullies, floppers and French guys with annoying Hollywood fiancées.
Meh....
I was watching The Muppet Movie last night, and this exchange caught my eye.
Rowlf: Stay away from women. That's my motto.
Kermit: But I can't.
Rowlf: Neither can I. That's my trouble.
It's a beautiful late-spring evening, and I decided to take the Jeffery for a walk. It was actually the third walk of the evening, as the Missus Frinklin was in New York and not around for me to handle the other dogs, I ended up taking separate walks for each dog. Jeffery was the last and the most interesting.
We were on the last leg of our walk and a dog sprung out from an open door behind us. It was a girl dog, looked to be a boxer-pit mix or something close to it. The dog was friendly enough, she was in a submissive pose but very interested in the Jeffery. Now, at this point, I'm much more concerned about this dog's well-being than my own. Jeffery, while a very friendly puppy to those in his family, can be a bit aggressive with other dogs. So, I keep Jeffery on a heel and continue down the block with the new dog close behind. Jeffery handles it well; He's on edge, but he's responding to me. At this point I'm wondering if this dog will keep going, or if somebody is going to come get it, or am I going to have to figure out what to do with it.
At this point, what I assume are the dogs owners come sprinting out the door, and I can't help but notice them. Both are rather attractive young women, probably in their late teens or early twenties. And neither of them are ummm... dressed for the occasion. The first is a tiny Asian woman wearing what can only be described as a micro-dress and what I believe is a garter on one leg. The other is a statuesque blond girl with giant fake breasts. She's rather shakily walking on giant heels and wearing a dress cut to her navel. The other is yelling at the dog, calling it Cujo or Kojak or something rather threatening that doesn't seem to fit the dog at all.
The dog had caught up with Jeffrey by this time and they introduce themselves. Jeffrey is mildly aggressive, but the other dog is very submissive, so it's not that much of an issue. I put Jeffrey on a sit and wait for these two to catch up. The first girl grabs the dog and says something about it not being hers and I tell her not to worry. Just as I look up I notice that it's Boobs Ahoy! The blond's girls have popped free and she's trying to stuff them back into her outfit. I really don't know how both managed to break free but they did. The first girl starts leading the dog back home, the blonde turns red and shuffles off back into the house.
As they left I turned to Jeffrey and said, “You saw that, right?”
My next question is this: Just what is going on in that house, and how do I get myself invited?